Confused

One of the major things I've been learning about my life is that it's okay to be confused.

I'm excited about the idea of training and I'm so happy with how my life has changed for the better. There are still SO many issues and thoughts I have difficulties sorting through. I've been dealing with a lot of confusion in the past couple weeks. Anxiety about my relationships and anxieties about training, not being able to get my body to do what is necessary to be able to compete. I still struggle with food becoming my crutch...especially when I'm overtired as I am tonight. I REALLY dread working my night shifts...not because of the shifts themselves, but the fact that it takes me a couple days to fully recover. It's like weekly jet lag...only without the trip! I become an emotional basketcase when I'm overtired! I worked Saturday overnight and I still feel like crap today.

I need to keep reminding myself that God is in complete control over EVERYTHING!!!! He is going to be there in the physical changes that occur in my body with training. There are SO many directions that my life could take right now! When we put God first in our lives, everything eventually comes together. He knows exactly where my path is headed even if I have absolutely no clue! I therefore praise God for my confusion and uncertainty, because it means the potential possibilities for my life are limitless!

Now, something REALLY EXCITING...it's exactly one week until my 30th Birthday! I'm actually bursting with anticipation!! Unfortunately I have to work night shifts so I will spend my whole big day sleeping! Therefore, I am going to need something EXTRA EXCITING to do to celebrate!! I'm going to need suggestions.

I've been thinking about making "The List". You know the lists people make of the things people want to be able to do before they die or turn a certain age? They always seemed a little corny to me, but I have all these new things I think I want to do that I couldn't do before. Hmmmm....we'll see.